Kinderling 52

 In case you are interested in starting this story at the beginning, Kinderling 1 can be found here:

The Tricycle of Thought: Kinderling 1

Please don't judge the story or the writing too harshly, this story is written with little to no editing.  It is just meant to get me writing regularly for practice.  

Now back to our story, already in progress..

I was brewing more willow bark tea, adding in mint and Three leaf that I had found on my last outing,  practically in my sleep, when a warm blanket was draped around my shoulders.  I opened my eyes just enough to see that Mama had returned and there was a very tall, thin, Elf with her.  He was sniffing at the teapot disapprovingly.  I might have told him what I thought about his sniffing, but I was so tired, even meeting another Elf wasn't enough to keep me awake, I curled up in the corner with the warm blanked and went to sleep.

I woke up, I don't know how many hours later, to a cave full of Elves, and Mama right in there mixing it up with them.

"No NO!  If you just go in killing indiscriminately, you'll end up killing a bunch of innocents.  Some of those innocents are my daughter's friends, and while yes, I wonder about her sanity sometimes, you do NOT want to get on her bad side.  You think I've got a temper, you ain't seen nothin!"

"Peace Mystic," Came a calming voice, "The Mountain Gorfs have taken one of our own captive and dared to touch her skin with the cold iron.  We can not allow it to go unanswered."

"Tandy!  Get up and get over here and explain it to these dunderheads!"  Mama must have heard me stirring.  I peeked out from under the blankets to find myself being stared at by some of the tallest, scariest Elven warriors that I had ever seen.  Of course, that wasn't saying much because the totality of my experience with Elves has been the one weak, dying, Elven Lady that Mama and I rescued from the Gorf dungeon. Mama stood in their midst, barely taller than knee high on the shortest of them, yet she seemed to tower over them somehow.

"How is the Elf?  Did she live?"  I asked.

"I have not returned to the earth, the Mother will have to wait a while longer."  Came a raspy reply.  "Thank you."  The thanks seemed to be a little strained, as if it were hard for her to say.  I wondered if it were because of her raw throat or if it was because of a begrudging attitude.  I gave her the benefit of the doubt even though I was sure she didn't deserve it, it didn't cost me anything.

Now that that was out of the way.  "Explain what Mama?"

"About the mission!  I can't seem to get it though their thick Elven skulls, and I'm about to try a stick!"

"Sorry, Mama gets worked up sometimes."  I politely explained to the surrounding Elves.  "Mouse, and a lot of other Gorfs are being controlled by magical devices built into their harnesses, and forced to act as soldiers for the Mountain King, and Baot.  Frankly, I don't really care so much about the other Gorf slave soldiers, but nobody better lay a finger on Mouse!"

"Mouse?  She wants to save a rodent?"  The calm voice asked.

"Mouse is the name of one of the Gorf slaves that are being forced to be a soldier!  Haven't you been listening Junior?"  Mama said, rather loudly.

A collective gasp came from the group of big scary Elven warriors.  Mama, tactful as ever.

"This is the King of All, and you will show respect!  I don't care if you are the Mystic!  And I'm not buying these stories about innocent Gorfs or magic controlling devices.  Gorfs do not use magic, and the magic you tree rats use is low and mongrel"  Growled an Elven warrior.  I would tell you it was "the big one", but that wouldn't be helpful because they are all big ones.  Big, of course, being a relative term.  They were nearly the same height as Mouse, but nowhere near as wide.  Yet there was a strength and hardness there that Mouse couldn't match if he wanted to.  Yes, Mouse can be scary, but it's more natural squishy scary.  These Elven warriors were more stone-hard scary.  If that makes any sense.

"Peace Capitan," Interjected the King of All, "The Mystic is sacred.  She may call me anything she wishes, and to call her honesty into question"  The King paused as if casting around looking for the right analogy.  "It would be like questioning the ocean tide.  The ocean tide just is.  It  does not care about your opinion, or even that you have one.  And it would be well for you to remember that I would not be here today if it weren't for what you have named the low and mongrel magic of the Mystic."

A raspy, weak voice came from behind the Elven warriors.  "I have seen these harnesses in use, it is as they say.  There were others interred with me in the dungeon.  One, a human woman, went to great lengths to attempt to come to my aid.  Her efforts did not prevail, but they cost her much at the hands of our jailors."

"We do not seek the Human's pity."  Seethed the Capitan, cutting her off.  I butted in before he could continue.

"That was probably Iowne."  I said,  "She would have acted out of compassion, not pity.  I haven't known her for long, but you get a sense of people sometimes."

I heard approval sounds coming from a few of the gathered Elves, you would think I said something profound.

"Yes,"  came the raspy answer, "I too believe it was compassion.  Pity and compassion smell different.  It would diminish me to see her harmed.  I owe her a measure of gratitude, she and her people must be rescued."

Smell different?  I can't imagine being able to smell anything in the Gorf's dungeon, but what do I know?  I did have to give the Elf Lady points for standing up for Iowne though.  I know there is no love lost between Elves and the Race of Man. or as the Elves call them, Humans - not sure where the Hu part of that came from, I'll have to ask if it means something in Elvish -  so it can't be easy for her to stand up for Iowne that way.  On the other hand, she still hasn't told me her name, so maybe I'll reserve judgement on that one for now.  According to Mama, Elves don't tell people their names and it would be rude to ask.  Seems odd to me, but I suspect that has something to do with why she calls the Elven King of All "Junior".  

As the arguing finally died down, I went to get a look at our Elf to satisfy myself that she was indeed on the mend.  She looked almost transformed.  The black was still there, but had mostly faded to yellow, green, and purple bruising.  Her teeth - the ones she had left anyway - were no longer black having softened to a medium gray.  It was a little disconcerting when she smiled, but I covered my surprise as well as I could.  At least she was smiling even if it was the I'm-so-superior-to-you-that-I-can-smile-at-your-foolishness kind of smile that seems endemic to the Elven peoples.  She was being tended to by a couple of Elves who were more her own size rather than huge Elven warriors.  Instead of armor, they wore loose tunics made of light, airy fabric in light green and blue hues.  I suppose it made sense, not all Elves can be warriors, right?

Satisfied, I went out to take a dunk in the lake to wash up and get refreshed.  I was so surprised by what I found outside the cave that I fell back on my backside in surprise, trying to scramble away.  It was a vast, wooden sailing ship, not in the lake, but floating above the lake.  With a plank providing a bridge between the outcropping in front of the cave and the deck of the ship.  On deck stood the tall, thin Elf that I remembered from the night before.  I guessed this must be the Star Sailor that Mama and the Elf Lady talked so much about.  Not knowing what to do, I waved.  He waved back, and then turned and went below decks.

Undeterred, I got my quick dunk in the lake.  When I got back, there was an Elf over by the fire arguing with Mama.  As I got closer, I realized that the argument was apparently about how to make soup.  Mama is awesome at a lot of things, cooking just doesn't happen to be one of those things.  As kids, Tommil and I would look forward to when it wasn't Mama's night to cook.  Mama wasn't insulted by this.  She knew that her talents for cooking up medicine, which almost always tasted awful but were always effective, didn't apply to cooking a meal, and was one of the first to agree with us on that sentiment.  I had to go over to see what the noise was about.

"Tandy, tell this... Elf... that it's perfectly reasonable to put mushrooms in a soup."  Mama said when she saw me walk up.  Sure enough, they were making a soup of some kind, and apparently Mama had been out gathering mushrooms.  She had quite the variety, some of which I didn't know even grew this high up in the mountains.  I took the chance to snag out a couple medicinal mushrooms she had among the group.  Including one that would have made the soup very bitter.  That was a variety that I knew Mama particularly liked, but was clueless as to why everyone else didn't like them.  When she saw, I saw  the disappointment in Mama's eyes.

"Don't worry Mama, I'll cook these up as a side dish, and since there aren't very many, I bet the Elves would be happy to let The Mystic have them as a special treat."  That seemed to make Mama happy.  I  then turned to the Elf  "The rest of these are relatively mild, and should go in the soup fine."

"Young Lady, Elves do not eat mushrooms, and the King of All has a particular dislike for them."  Said the Elf Chef.

"I bet.  If he traveled with Mama for very long, he's probably tasted some interesting ones."  I indicated the bitter ones that I had just take from Mama.  "But the rest of these are good."  I quickly dumped them in the pot before the Elf could argue any further.  He stared at me, I stared back not giving in even a knuckle.  To my surprise, the Elf Chef blinked first.

A very un-Elflike guffaw rose from near by.  "I saw it, she bested you without breaking a sweat!"  Said the King of All.  I recognized him from his voice.  "I have been waiting to finally meet you.  The Lady of Eastwood tells me that she would have returned to the earth if it weren't for your efforts."

"Aw, that was mostly Mama's doing."  I replied, "um...  Your King-ness or something."  I had no idea what to call the Elven King of All, but I was pretty sure Junior wasn't it.  Apparently, he didn't take offence because he laughed again.

"Your King-ness works in a pinch I suppose.  Your people haven't had a King for quite some time I believe."  The King of All replied,  "There are other settlements of Kinderlings that still do have a King, but it seems that your village decided they were better off without one."  Then the King of All stooped down to the floor to get more to my own level and whispered, "Do me a favor, don't convince my people to follow suit.  I have enough detractors and grumblers.  I don't need them getting ideas of self-rule into their heads."  Then the King of All winked at me.

Of all the Elves I've met.  All couple of them anyway.  The Elven King of All seemed the least Elf-like.  I liked that about him.

A formal dinner was served that evening on tables brought into the cave from the ship.  In addition to the soup, there was all kinds of wild game, herbs, and root vegetables that had been gathered from the mountainside.  There was a roast nearly as big as me.  I had to ask Mama what it was.

"It's a deer roast, Tandy."  She said, "It's been a long time since I have eaten deer."

That confused me.  As far as I know, Kinderlings left deer alone.  With how large they are, they are far too dangerous for us to hunt them.  Even if we were successful hunting one, how would we get it home?  

"Ah yes," cut in a smarmy Elf voice, "The deer around here are probably quite beyond your hunter's capabilities aren't they?"

I didn't like the way he said it.

"Naw, I bet Tandy here could take one down easily."  Mama said, "We just don't need to, we Kinderlings have plenty."

"Hmmm... Plenty, that's right, you have your filthy mushroom farms.  You root around in the dirt for fungus, just like the pigs."

This Elf was getting on my last nerve.

"I suppose if I didn't have any skill with a bow, I would be forced to eat filthy fungus too."

That did it.  This Elf was going to get a piece of my mind!  But Mama got to him first.

"Oh mighty hunter, are your arrows really so swift and sure?!"  Mama said loudly, almost as if she really were impressed by him.  I started wonder if someone had zoinked some kind of magic on her.  Then she winked at me.

"Yes, yes.  My arrows are the swiftest and the surest."  The Elf said, smiling, so sure of himself that he seemed to believe Mama's praises were his due...  and, you know...  actually meant.

Mama sprung the trap.  "Then you wouldn't mind shooting against Tandy here in a little arrow-flying competition, would you?"  Mama paused dramatically as all eyes were on her, standing on the board some one had kindly set across the arms of her chair so that when she sat, her head would be above the surface of the table.  Some thoughtful Elf had done the same for me in my chair also.  "That's a challenge short-fletch."  by the reaction from around the table I'm guessing short-fletch was some kind of insult among Elves.  I sure hoped Mama knew what she was doing.

"She is not an Elf, I turn my chin away from such an obscene challenge."  He said.

"She is not the one making the challenge, short-fletch."  Mama drew out the short-fletch like a Kinderling pouchling would do on the play ground at school.  It brought up lots of bad memories for me having been the recipient of that kind of behavior many times myself, but to see my Mama acting that way was mind bending... and more than a little hilarious.  Who knew Mama had it in her?

"You are not an E...."  The Elf started but was cut off.

"If you value your ears, you will not finish that sentence!"  Boomed the Elven King of All.  That was the voice of a King if I had ever heard one.  The cave went absolutely silent.  "The Mystic was named Elf-friend by ME!  That extends to her all the rights and obligations of being an Elf.  I will not have my commands diminished by your behavior!"

"Does the tiny one have an Elven bow?  Could she even draw one if had one?"

"The challenge wasn't for archery.  I didn't say the word archery even once.  My exact words were arrow-flying competition.  Tandy doesn't have a bow, let alone an Elven bow, because that is not her way.  You may use your bow if that is your way.  Tandy has her own."  Mama clarified.

The King of All laughed again.  "Woo!  This is getting exciting!  Star Sailor, can your people provide some suitable targets?  I saw some hay bales in your hold on the way here."

"Yes Your Magesty,"  The tall thin Elf said.  I hadn't even seen him all the way down on the other end of the table.  When he saw me looking, he waved, much like I had waved to him that morning.  It made me smile, and I hoped he would smile too, but his face remained so dour.  I would have to get Mama to tell me why that Elf was so sad.  With a wave of his hand, the Star Sailor sent a few of his crewmembers out to get targets set up.  I learned that the Elves wearing light green and blue were the Star Sailor's crew.  I only saw a few of them, and wondered if there were more hiding within the ship.

I was a little taken aback by how far they took the targets, and how tiny they looked.  It dawned on me that Mama wanted me to use one of my arrow-chuckers.  Sure, I could make that shot.  I hadn't had any chance to practice since Mama and I left on this mission, so I was a little worried, but I had worked my way up to making shots from this distance before we left, so it wasn't completely unfamiliar.

"Very well," Said my opponent. "The child can go first, so when she misses horribly this whole affair can be over."

"Wrong short-fletch." Mama said, "I am the challenger, and by extension, so is Tandy.  That means you shoot first."

"The Mystic is right once again."  Said the King of All stoically, then ruined it because he couldn't stifle a giggle.

By the look of derision on his face, my opponent wasn't amused.

"Fine, I will shoot first to show I am better."  he said.

He walked back to where the Elves had everything staged, gathered up his bow and some arrows.  The bow was wonderous.  It was stark white, so much so it nearly sparkled.  He made a show of selecting just the right arrow, gazing down each shaft as he turned it between his fingers looking for... well, I have no idea what he was looking for.  A straight one I guess, but every single one of those arrows looked perfect to me.

Having finally chosen his arrow, my opponent strung his bow.  Once strung, he plucked the string and the sound was practically musical.  He fit his chosen arrow to the string and let it fly.  The distance was far enough that it was hard to tell just where on the target his arrow hit.

Then he turned to me and said, "Perfect shot, give up little pest."

Well I wasn't going to take that from any old fancy pants Elf!  I made a show of getting my arrow-chucker from my pack, then made a show of just grabbing an arrow at random and loading it in without even looking at it.  Just as I brought the arrow-chucker to my shoulder, my opponent spoke up.

"And what is that thing?  It is hideous.  You can't possibly be serious!"  he protested.

"She is,"  Said the Star Sailor,  "I can feel the warmth coming off of that device.  Young Kinderling, are you quite sure that device is safe?"

"I sure hope not."  I said,  "It's a weapon.  It would be rather useless if it were safe."

My little gest garnered quite a bit of sedate laughter from the crowd that had gathered to see the contest.   I wish I knew if they were laughing with me, or if it was directed at me.  With nothing else left to do, I raised my arrow-chucker sighted along the tube that the arrow was in, gave it what I guessed would be the right amount of angle - just a smidge, arrows flew pretty straight from this one - and let the arrow fly.

I couldn't help but notice two things as I watched my arrow go.  First, it was flying quite a bit faster than my opponent's arrow.  Second was that the whole thing was wobbling in flight.  I was pretty sure that was a bad sign, but it sure seemed to be on target anyway.  I also noticed that the flight of my opponent's arrow had much more of an arch on it than mine did.  I hoped that didn't mean I did it wrong.

THWACK!

There was a bit of a gasp at how solidly my arrow hit.  Not from me, of course, I was used to it.  Not having seen a whole lot of arrows being shot from bows, it never occurred to me that my arrow-chucker was all that different.

"Fetch the target!"  ordered the King of All excitedly.  "Wait!  Quickly, each of you select a proxy that you can trust.  Star Sailor, if you will send a couple of your sailors to retrieve the target, but they will be accompanied by a representative from each side so nobody can claim anyone cheated."

And so, Mama - riding on her go-stick which caused some whispered comment, apparently most of the Elves hadn't seen either of us ride before - a fellow soldier picked by my opponent, and two of the Star Sailor's people made their way out to where the target sat.  

When they returned with the target, they faced it away from us, so none could see before the rest who the winner was.  Mama was acting more inscrutable than usual which meant...  I didn't know what that meant.  Did I win?  Did I lose?  Then I looked at my opponent's representative and knew I had lost.  He was grinning big as day.  I couldn't watch.  Since the dinner seemed to be over, I made my way back to the little corner that Mama and I still held as "our space" in the cave.  Everywhere else the Elves were ever-present.  I wasn't moping, I just didn't want to listen to the snide remarks from my opponent.  I knew I should be the better person and congratulate him, I told myself, but I was sure even now he was over there congratulating himself.

Gradually, by ones and twos, Elves started to come over and touch me.  On the arm, on the shoulder.  At first I thought it was some kind of Elven conciliatory thing, like "sorry for your loss", but then a few of them leaned in and whispered their names to me, and said how honored they were to see someone pull "Stinky Foot" from his pedestal.  

It wasn't every single Elf mind you, but I was visited by a good portion of them.  

Mama finally arrived looking rather un-Mama like, with a huge smile on her face.  I pulled her aside and asked her what was going on.

"You won Tandy!"  She whispered, "And the way you walked off like that without even verifying your win, like you already knew.  It was epic.  I've already heard a couple musicians and a poet writing songs and poetry about it.  You are going to be more famous than I am.  Hope you don't mind, as the winning challenger, It's Elven tradition that I get to declare something about the loser, and for one year he would have to live with it.  so I declared his name to be Stinky Foot."

I palmed my forehead.  Ever since we escaped from the village and Baot's plans, Mama has been like a different person.  A lot like the old Mama, but more alive, more sarcastic, and less filtered.  The old Mama did give her patients nick-names, sometimes embarrassing ones, and used those nick names when talking to them.  I once heard her call an old Kinderling Grandmother "Slimy" because the oldster stopped bathing, and a long-time patient was called "Gasbags" because he wouldn't stop eating a particular root vegetable that gave him severe flatulence, and a gut condition that would eventually kill him.  In both cases, it worked.  The Grandmother started bathing and Gasbags, eventually, cut back on the garric root only to realize he felt so much better that he never went back.

"If I'm the one who beat him, shouldn't I be the one who gets to declare something?"  I asked.

"No.  You don't understand how Elven challenges go.  I was the challenger, you were merely the contestant."  Mama explained.  "If you lost, you would have just lost a little prestige, not that you really had any anyway.  Me on the other hand, Stinky Foot would have been able to declare something about me that lasted a year.  My guess is he would have declared me to no longer be The Mystic, or an Elf friend."

Mama appeared to really think about the consequences for a moment.  "Huh, that really could have been bad.  I bet ol' Stinky Foot would have used that as a means to kill me.  Both of us.  And the King of All wouldn't have been able to do anything about it without being seen as breaking tradition which could have risked his claim on the throne.  I really need to stop hanging around with the Star Sailor, he is such a bad influence"

I hadn't noticed Mama hanging around anyone, much less the Star Sailor, but if losing was so fraught with peril for us, I'm glad everything worked out and Mama was coming to her senses.

"I could have lost the right to make challenges!  That would have been horrible!  I have so many more Elves I want to take down a peg or two!"

I looked at Mama.  She appeared to be serious.  "Just let me know if you're about to make a challenge that might get us killed so I can get ready to get out of here."

"Oh, all right."  Said Mama distractedly.  I sure hoped she wasn't thinking about who to challenge next.

Happily, Mama didn't get around to making any more challenges before we were called to a meeting hosted by the King of All.  

"We have come to this place to rescue one of our own.  One who was taken prisoner and put in cold iron chains by her captors.  Thanks to the Star Sailor and his incredible sky ship, and to the miraculous ministrations by our friend the Mystic and her incredibly talented daughter, we arrived in time."  The King of All stated.  "Now, we must consider punitive actions against the Mountain Gorfs  so-called King.  None can be seen to harm an Elf and walk away."

That opened the floor to all sorts of wild schemes and proposals.  Everything from quietly assassinating the Gorf Mountain King in his bed-chamber to the outright destruction of the Mountain Kingdom's fortress village.  Think "Rend it to the ground and leave no stone on top of another" was the phrase used, which I thought was a little over-done.

It quickly became apparent that a majority of the Elves were more concerned with revenge than rescuing Mouse, or Iowne and her people for that matter.  That worried me.  What also worried me   Mama was being uncharacteristically quiet.  During a meeting of this type, normally Mama would be right in there mixing it up.  I opened my mouth to yell out my opinion of one of the suggestions, but Mama stopped me flat, putting her hand on my arm and shaking her head "no".   Knowing Mama deplored doing anything that didn't have a good reason as a waste of time and effort, I held back my comment.

"They'll argue until they grow tired, hungry, or the King of All makes a decision."  Mama whispered to me.  "Junior already has our opinions, he's just giving everyone time to also get their opinions heard.  No point in prolonging this mess."

Just then, the King of All yelled out "Lieutenant of the First Watch, your opinion has been heard."  With that, the Elven Warrior who had been speaking, arguing his case, stopped mid-sentence and stepped aside allowing another to speak up.

"Well, that was interesting."  I noted to Mama.

"I just wish your father was here to see this.  I'm sure he would enjoy seeing the Elven debate process."

"Is this anything like the village council meetings that Father goes to?...  Went to?"  There was a moment of sadness at the reminder that my home was all but gone.

"Surprisingly similar."  Mama said with a smile, "Only there isn't a King of All to shut it down by making a decision, so the debate usually goes until everyone either passes out from exhaustion, or  gets too hungry to continue and wanders off in search of food."

The Elven debate lasted far into the evening.  Mama and I didn't stick around for much more of it.  It seemed like the ideas and opinions started to repeat after a while, and some of those opinions made me angry enough that I found myself noting who said what and fantasizing about how I'd like to murder me some Elves.  I didn't think staying any longer would be a good idea.