Kinderling 14

 The chance presented itself to me shortly.  While Father and Uncle Zon sat there and stared at each other, each convinced that they were the only one who should use the Rod and confront the Gorf.  Just like those two Gorf combatants from the first time I saw one of these Rods, although much less violently, the two of them left the thing lying there while they argued.

I took a lesson from that Gorf girl all those years ago.

Father and Uncle Zon didn't notice me calmly walk up and slide the Rod right out from between them.  I sat and looked at it like I was studying it for a few moments, just in case they got suspicious, and when they weren't looking I wandered off.  Hey, I'm a kid, kids do that sort of thing.

I've been chased by Gorfs.  Treed by Gorfs.  Played demented games of hide and seek with Gorfs.  Demented, of course, because if they won, I would have probably been eaten, but how else was I supposed to test the latest version of no-see-me charm?  And now, apparently, I have had a conversation with and befriended an old Gorf.  Sure, I've been scared, but never this terrified as when I stripped back down to my under-clothes, and swam with the Rod across that lake.

As I crawled out of the water, it occurred to me that I hadn't really made a plan for this.  It's not like me to walk into something without a plan.  Or, maybe that's exactly like me.  The Gorf's back was turned, so I started quietly edging back towards the water.  Then he turned.

I looked at him.

He looked at me.

Sniff, sniff. "grumble grumble?"  He said.

So I went with the first thing that popped into my head.

"UURRGGWWAAAGGAAAA!!!!"  And I planted the King's Rod into the ground... or tried to.  The point just sort of bounced on the rocks so instead of waving my arms like I had seen, I was stuck holding the Rod with one hand and waving the other.  It occurred to me that the translation was probably lost somewhere between my memory of the Gorf girl, and the squeaky noises I was able to produce.

Yet, instead of grabbing me and trying to eat me, the large Gorf stood there.  I think I confused him.  I wasn't confused, I was terrified.  

"Tandy!"  I heard my father yell from across the lake.  "What are you doing?"

"Making friends Father." I replied, hoping it was true.  Although, to be honest, I was well past the point of knowing what I was doing.

Then the Gorf indicated towards the King's Rod.  "Googff."

"You want this?"  I asked, holding the Rod out towards him.

Then Uncle Zon came out of the water behind me.  "Tandy, this is not a good idea."  I could hear the splashing of Father's doggy paddle across the lake.  He was never a strong swimmer.  

To my relief, the Gorf seemed to take it all in stride, even when Uncle Zon had to go pull Father from the lake to keep him from drowning.  To my relief, I saw that Uncle Zon had brought along my pack and Smoke, and had somehow kept them both dry.

"Tandy, you are in big trouble young lady!"  Father yelled at me once he regained his breath.

"GRROOOGGG!!!"  Yelled the Gorf.

"Tadius, I don't think right now is a good time for yelling."  Whispered Uncle Zon to my father.  "This plan is yours Tandy, what's next?"

I think it's so cute how Uncle Zon actually thinks I had a plan.

The Gorf stepped towards us, and I held up the rod, which seemed to distract him and fend him off.  That gave me an idea.  I held the Rod up with my left hand, and indicated at what I hoped was the exit with my right hand, using the same gesture that the Gorf had used when, I hope, he was indicating earlier that he wanted the Rod.  To my relief, it seemed to work.  The Gorf stepped back towards the lake, clearing the path between us and the exit.  

"Googff" He said again, once again indicating the Rod.

"It wants the Rod, Tandy.  I don't think we should give it to him, he's likely to beat us with it."  Uncle Zon, unhelpfully interjected.

"I know he wants the Rod, Uncle Zon.  I'm negotiating a trade here.  He gets the Rod, and we get to leave."  At least that is what I hoped I was doing.  For all I knew of Gorfs, I was offering to be his dinner, but I didn't think so.

I waved at the others, and Father, Uncle Zon, and I started moving towards the light.  The Gorf didn't move to stop us, so I was labeling it as a win.

"Googff."  The Gorf said again when we got closer to the exit, a little louder this time, and I thought I detected a bit of "Hey lady, what about our deal?" in the tone.  I don't know if such things as tone of voice translates over between Gorf and Kinderling, but maybe.

I made my best "living up to my end of the bargain" style tone, and said.  "You kept up your part, so here you go." and I walked up to the Gorf and handed him the Rod.

The Gorf looked surprised, as if I had given him the best gift ever, and didn't look like he could take his eyes off the Rod.  I took advantage of his surprise and high-tailed it out of there.

"Goh-oot." I heard as I left the lake cavern.  Thank you.  Or at least I believe that is what he meant.

I caught up with Father and Uncle Zon in short order.  Father looked like he had been running all day, rather than just a few minutes, but Uncle Zon looked fine.  No surprise there.  Father looked like he was ready to yell, but was quickly cut off by Uncle Zon.

"Tadius, we are in the forest.  Please keep your voice down.  It's dangerous.  Tandy, you know the forest better than anyone.  Any idea where we are?"

I looked around.  Our village is mostly surrounded by forested hills.  The village itself is in a lower lying area in the middle.  Getting my bearings, and looking off to the East, I could see the gap in the hills where the trade road is said to have once been.  That was way before my time, and my usual stomping grounds are more on the South West side of the village, so I had never seen it.

"The old trade road is not far that way, to the East, and the village is North of here, maybe a spot west."  I reported.

Father looked around.  "It all just looks like trees to me, how can you possibly know that?" 

"Tandy is right Tadius.  We are pretty far up the slope Southeast of the village.  We have a ways to walk.  Do you think you'll be able to make it?"

"Of course I can make it Zon.  Why wouldn't I be able to make it.  Are you calling me old?"  Father really did seem to be put out by the perceived implication that he was getting old.

"No Tadius, I was calling you fat."

I was shocked.  Sure, Father was a bit overweight, but other than Mother who doesn't pull punches for anyone, particularly someone she loves, I had never heard anyone actually say so.

"And you can't seem to keep a woman around Zon."  Father laughed.

What was going on?  Everyone in the family knew about Uncle Zon's misadventures with finding a suitable wife.  Sure, it was a common subject of gossip.  Giggling about Uncle Zon getting turned down by this woman or dumped by that one.  Conjecture more about if he was going to settle down rather than when.  Still, nobody teased him about it.  That was just rude.

Yet they were both smiling as if they had shared a particularly fond memory.

I don't think I'll ever understand men.